July 30th, 2004
|sourrgrrl||11:02 am - Jumping on that family topic...|
Boy! I could rant on for ages about this...
I don't HAVE any family! All I have to rely on is myself! Me and my own resourcefulness. My mother passed away in 2001. She was like my best friend, man! I was raised Wiccan, and she always had my back--when kids would pick on me or teachers would harass me and like, you know... I have an extremely small family on her side--which is damn ear extinct. We don't talk anymore. I only talk to my baby brother--well, I say baby, but he's 18 with his own baby now...
My parents divorce when I was really young. And my dad has since remarried about three times. I always wanted to have a relationship with him, but he ALWAYS--to this day, has brushed me aside for his wife's kids. And, I am his ONLY CHILD!! How suck ass is that?
So, my definition of family naturally progressed to my good friends... I'd bend over backwards for them. I'd give my dawg my last dollar, or anything else that they needed--UNCONDITIONALLY. But, when the chips were down for me, I learned how many people really were true friends... NONE OF THEM!! They all bailed... *sigh*
Then, I said *hey, maybe I can start my own family*. And, after dating this jerk off for five years, and giving him my entire life--suffering through good and bad days, I mean everything we've been through. He broke up with me a few days ago. So, there you have it all in a nutshell.
I was born alone, but I WILL NOT DIE...
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: No Doubt
July 22nd, 2004
|ex_ladyz541||08:21 am - Kia Sdupid|
Everyone that joined, I finally got it right how to approve membership, so you all should be able to post now
July 21st, 2004
|ex_ladyz541||06:52 pm - Come one, Come all|
Alright ladies, introduce yourselves to each other.
And I'm throwing a topic on the table
What experiences have you had with your lifestyle, whatever that may be, and dealing with family?
I for instance have some how adapted myself to those that would freak out and those that think its cool and those that don't give a shyt. My mother is extremely open-minded and very interested in the fact I'm different then the other family members. As a black family we all tend to do the so called ," black thing." and then I come in with my my 'weird' music and crazy ideas. My father on the other hand dissaproved because he is all ,"Black Power" if you catch my drift, but never really bothered to say anything about it to me at length because he knows I'm the kook in the family. My Great Cousins and Great Aunt get a real kick out of me and find me so interesting that when I visit it is almost entertainment for them. My Step mother in law is mostly where I do a 180. She is very much high class, southern, bougie black. I can remember trying to tell her where I was going one night, to the goth club, and she kept saying, the "Death club??" and really got scared and told us to please not go. So I put out my feelers and decided to make her confortable and make myself comfortable around her I wasn't going to force my gothness on her. Not because I'm being weak, but because I love her to death and I'd rather respect her space and sensibilities for the brief times that I'm with her then than be an azz. Besides my style switches around so much depending on my mood or what clothes are clean it is not hard to adapt when I need to clothing wise. Otherwise I've never gotten much slack, I think part of it is because I'm still Christian. I'm certain if I were Wiccan or even Muslim like my father I'd have a harder bit of a time, even an atheist. My mother had never raised any concerns about my goth/industrial-dom and my faith, mainly because she has always understood me and she is extremely open minded, but other people. Im not sure. That who Goth/Satanist thing seems to be the norm still in some places. I think for the most part my mother and my sister don't read anything into it. They just accept me as Zakia and that is all, as in I am who I am, and if I wasn't who I am I wouldn't be their Daughter and Sister.
And I'm babbling on
July 20th, 2004
Doo bee doo bee doo
Hehe DK, I'm trying I'm trying
July 18th, 2004
|ex_ladyz541||04:27 pm - one mo' gen|
annnnnnd testing, ahh that seems to be okay.
Well I'd like to welcome everyone to my first Live Journal community experiment. This board was design for women of color to discuss anything under the sun, but most of all issues regarding our choice of lifestyles and issues regarding women of color period. I expect people to disagree on things, but we can all do it in a civilized type fashion aka no acting like a jackazz.
Err for folks that don't know me or read my LJ, a little about me-self.
I'm a 24 year old african american, black american, american. I live in New York City with my husband. Self proclaimed weekend warriors. I play around with a bass guitar, I'm currently in advertising but hoping to get into more graphic design and illustration type thingies. I like almost all music genres, but industrial and EBM perhaps get the most rotation. When I get the time to learn the bass, I would like to be an old geezer in a band. And I aspire to win the lotto.
And most of all for some odd reason if I click my mouse anyone in a text filed my browser takes me back to my livejournal page. UGh!
Current Mood: productive
Current Music: That strange voice in my head
testing again, testing again
|ex_ladyz541||04:00 pm - tttttttesting|
testing, one, two, one, two